Mobile Suit Gundam SEED: A Bloody Dawn
by Yoshiyuki Tomino
Summary: During The First Bloody Valentine War there were many stories to tell of good and evil. Now witness this intertwining chronicle of the men and women on both sides of the conflict.
1. Chapter 1

Mobile Suit Gundam SEED: A Bloody Dawn

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" I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR SHEHARA YOU BASTARD!" I screamed at the top of my lungs over the com. I prayed he could hear my lust for vengeance. I wanted him to tremble at the thought of his death before I laid into him with the final blow. It all seems so long ago. The last time I saw her, the first time I fought him. It's just a fading memory now. But it's strange how such things come rushing to the surface in times like these.

I could hear him over the com. He was going to make me pay? No, I had simply evened the score. What he did to me could never be forgiven. This fool who had scarred me in such a way. I can't stop feeling this pain, like burning flesh it consumes my senses. It refuses to leave me. I will make him suffer. There is no way he can be absolved of his sins. " Your death belongs to me DEMON OF JUNIUS! ADEL LEAD! I WILL NOT LET YOU ESCAPE ME!"

Our sabers connected sparks, and metal limbs quivering. I could hear the joints of our suits as they were strained from the force of each strike. I was on even terms with him for once. It's so far removed from the first time I met this man. The feeling of the controls locking up, as I forced them forward. The thrusters firing at full burn but neither of us were moving an inch. It was as if somehow we'd become equals. I hated that thought, being an equal to a murdering bastard like him. There was no way I could ever be an equal to a soulless monster. Then slice, and static on my monitor, what had happened? I wasn't sure. Time itself seemed to slow for me as I drifted there.

_They say when you're about to die, your entire life flashes before you eyes. Birth, death all of it. Everything from beginning to end. It puts a lot into perspective, like just how boring the earliest parts of your very life can be. I hated how dull things were, I was actually excited when the war came. I'd just turned eighteen and joined the military anyway. At least then I'd have something to do. I joined to give my service in times of war and strife. I guess, I never thought I'd be the one causing so much of it. _

_The first terrible thing I ever did was watch and cheer as I sat in a Moebius after I fired a nuke at that Junius 7. Then I somehow managed to get though the first battle of Jachin Due with enemy kills somehow. I was the first non-Zero pilot to gain five kills so it was something of a feat. Though the rest of the unit that launched those nukes, they were all annihilated in that same fight. Because I had become an ace and I was one fo the only survivors of the fleet dispatched to Junius 7 people started calling me the Demon of Junius. As if I were some sort of monster.. I didn't like the idea of being a monster, but after looking back on all that I've done, I guess I can understand it now. I was a beast in human flesh back in those days, I suppose. I used to think eradicating Coordinators was the work of god, all that "for a pure blue earth" crap. I was a hero to my side's cause a real monster in a mobile armor, to bad things had to change. _

_ZAFT invaded Earth, I was sent planet side just to watch them roll over us. Nothing could have stopped them, we were just toy soldiers compared to their mobile suits. It was amazing what kind of power those behemoths possessed. I wanted it, I wanted to make those sins of god pay for their births, I wanted to make them suffer for the deaths they caused on Earth. I wouldn't get my wish until later. While stationed in Alaska the same day Operation Spitbreak was launched. That day in Alaska would change everything for me. My fortunes were growing again. Soon those monsters in human flesh would taste the wrath of a true warrior for God. It was that day I finally began to accept my place as the Reaper of Junius and resigned myself to being "The bringer of death." I don't get why this matters now; I'm about to die. I guess it's just some sort of torture to see the very days when you felt your soul slipping away. _

_That day Admiral Jason Carthridge called me into his office;_ "Lieutenant! Lieutenant! Lieutenant Lead! " The Admiral seemed pretty damned mad at me. I guess I was spacing out again or something. Lately my focus had been a bit off, they'd recalled me from frontline combat activities only a week ago. I hated being at the main headquarters. There was no action here, just a bunch of spoiled officers.

I'd taken a liking to Admiral Cartridge though . He was younger then most of the old geezers on the base. He'd actually worked his way up from the ground floor. People used to call him the hero of Gramaldi, though he never enjoyed the name. He always said, the real heros were the ones who fought under his command. Probably why I liked him so damned much, he gave credit where it was due. "Lieutenant Lead, or should I call you Demon of Junius? I'm sure you're wondering why you were recalled from the front."

"No Sir! Lieutenant will be fine." I kind of hesitated with the rest. I didn't really want to know but at the same time I did. Though it would probably be some kind of court-martial, with the way my luck had been going. Curiosity got the better of me though, so of course I confirmed the suspicions of my commanding officer." Yes sir, I would like to know why I've been pulled from the front. I don't like deserting my comrades in Panama."

He nodded in some weird all knowing kind of way. The sagely kind of thing that just annoys the hell out of you most of the time, cause it makes you feel like a child. " We're starting a new test corp of sorts. This is top secret so before I tell you anything more, you're going to have to give me an answer. Are you in or are you out?"

I couldn't help but blank out on him at that moment. I had no idea what I should say. It all sounded kinda fishy, and I was sure I'd regret it later but, there was something in the way he said it. I couldn't resist the offer he'd placed before me, " Sir, I would like to join the "Test Corps." Stiffening my back I straightened myself upright, and saluted.

That was all he needed, his hands pulling open his top drawer and pulling out a folder. Tossing it lazily on his desk, I was stunned at what spilled forth. From what I could see they were photos of mobile suits! But only ZAFT used those things. Three of them were towering there a weird set of V-shaped antenna branding their foreheads. One had two huge cannons mounted over each shoulder, the other a set of wings on its back, the third had some weird looking thing mounted on it's back and folded over the arms. I just looked stunned as he picked up the picture and slipped it back into the folder. "Read it."

I could barely make out those words, there was no way to shake the image of what I had just seen only a moment ago. Was this what the new TEST Corp was for? Picking up the folder I glanced at the picture again. This time I could make out something written on them. Calamity, Raider, Forbidden. I still couldn't believe we had mobile suits. Skimming through the folder I found more pictures of just what we were working on. GAT-01A1 105Dagger, GAT-01Strike Dagger, GAT-01D Long Dagger. I was stunned to say the least. We were going to have these suits? I could barely formulate some sort of coherent reply. " Sir, some of these suits are listed for Mass Production...but I've never even seen any of them before."

"Only three of the 105 Dagger units have been assembled. Of those three only one is here." He had a straight face, like he could care less about where the other two were. He didn't seem to care that the suits which could turn around the war weren't near the front yet. I had to know more, but the question was would be give me more information. Even with my new clearance within the test unit, would I actually be told why these completed suits hadn't been given out yet?

I couldn't think of how to phrase the question at first. I didn't want to offend the admiral, I just had to know what was going on though. If we had the tools to fight ZAFT on their own terms why were we so hesitant to use them? " Sir, with all due respect why aren't the 105's or the Strike Daggers on the front lines, sir? It says the Dagger line had 150 assembled units. " That's when I saw a side of the commander I'd never seen before. A sick smile sort of twisted onto his face.

"Simple, we're waiting til ZAFT depletes their terrestrial forces first." I almost wanted to punch the bastard in the face. I had seen more men die on the front in the passed two months then he'd probably even seen die in his whole life. I didn't care any more that this guy was a good commander, something just made me want to punch him. But I hesitated, something inside me said hear him out. So I just stood there and waited for him to finish. " We've gotten word ZAFT plans to attack this very base. We're going to use it as a sort of decoy. After this operation the Dagger units will be sent out to the front. The enemy will be too busy licking their wounds to stop the all-out assault we have in store."

I was again left shocked, ZAFT was planning to attack the base? But no one here was prepared for such a thing, everyone was relaxing like it was some sort of pleasure cruise. I wanted to ask when but my question was answered when the first explosion shook the base. Then the second, finally the alarm sounded. ALL PERSONNEL REPORT TO BATTLE STATIONS AT ONCE! But the Admiral didn't flinch, he just sat there with his elbows on his desk, and his hands folded together, hovering just above his chin. Hiding what I could just barely make out as a twisted smile." Please follow me Lieutenant. I have some things to show you."

_I guess it was that moment I realized I had sold my soul, but the thing about selling your soul is, you can never undo the deal. I was now part of a Test unit I knew very little about, and now instead of reporting to help defend the JOSH-A, I was being taken to the sub docks, and I didn't even know why. But I went, I wanted to know more, I had to, I was after all curious by nature. It's funny how when things start out so clearly, but in the end they become so hazy. "Even on clear days, you can never see the whole sky," that's what she used to say... _

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_Authors Notes: _This is meant to be a chapter fic so don't worry, I won't leave you guys with a cliff hanger. I appreciate any and all reviews you might want to send my way. This fic includes mostly original characters and will only t'weak certian events in SEEDslightly. I want this to be as consistent with SEED cannon as possible. And expect a few cameo appearences by the SEED cast here and there throughout the story. 


	2. Chapter 2

**MOBILE SUIT GUNDAM SEED: A BLOODY DAWN  
Chapter 2**

"I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR SHEHARA YOU BASTARD!" I screamed at the top of my lungs over the com. I prayed he could hear my lust for vengeance. I wanted him to tremble at the thought of his death before I laid into him with the final blow. It all seems so long ago. The last time I saw her, the first time I fought him. It's just a fading memory now. But it's strange how such things come rushing to the surface in times like these.

I could hear him over the com. He was going to make me pay? No, I had simply evened the score. What he did to me could never be forgiven. This fool who had scarred me in such a way. I can't stop feeling this pain, like burning flesh it consumes my senses. It refuses to leave me. I will make him suffer. There is no way he can be absolved of his sins. " Your death belongs to me DEMON OF JUNIUS!!!!! ADEL LEAD! I WILL NOT LET YOU ESCAPE ME!!!"

That damn bastard, I'd heard the stories; I remember what you did to those people on Junius. How dare you think you're better then me. You're a killer too, don't you dare make it sound like I'm the only one to ever rob someone of their life. I wanted to say it all, I wanted to tell him just how much of a monster he was. I couldn't though, my Saber tore into his mobile suit but I slipped. I would never get to tell him what I wanted to say. The warning alarms in my cockpit wouldn't shut up, I never imaged I'd die like this, in a cold vacuum. How could I have allowed HIM to beat me? I was too good to die a death along side this miserable human being, wasn't I? I don't remember anymore. My soul was tainted by this terrible war just as much as his I suppose.

_My breathing was shallow, I suppose it's irony that the last thing I saw was the beginning of my life. I hated my childhood, being raised in ORB; everyone said ORB accepts Naturals and Coordinators but that was crap. It was mostly Coordinators like myself, but not every Natural there was friendly. Depending on where you lived it was terrible - the kind of treatment we received. I never understood why my parents didn't just live in an Alliance country if they wanted such crappy treatment. I never could figure the two of them out, always so stupid. Those idiots even moved to _Junius_ Seven. _

_I thank god everyday I was sent off to military school on the PLANTS or I'd have died with them. Children were supposed to love their parents, and respect them but not me. I couldn't stand them. I hated every single thing they ever did because it often just made life harder for us. They made me a COORDINATOR so now kids could laugh at me. They sent me to all the best shcools so kids could pick on me. When I finally developed a back bone they were affraid of me. I hated them for what they did._

_I never regretted their death, there was nothing painful about it. When they both died in that nuke I was thrilled but I was sad. Not for them but for the friends I had on Junius. It was the first place I'd ever known people who accepted me. It was painful to watch the news, and they just aired it over and over each time it stole even more of my heart and soul. What was even more painful though was to relive the events that turned me into a monster. I admit I was a murdering bastard. I watched men drop from the sky, in my DiNN. I circled the battlefeild like a vulture in my DINN unit. I picked apart my enemies with a merciless hatred. _

_I was a man who cursed both friend and foe, a black winged messenger of death. I was an ace, unstopable no one could beat me. No one except him, I remember when I first met him, how I can still taste the humiliation I suffered that day. Operation Spit Break, it was to change our fortunes. No longer would our war be a constant stalemate. No longer would I have to stand by and watch good men die for a cause that seemed hopeless. It was the moment our fortunes would change, we'd defeat the naturals. Victory was a word that never left our minds back then, it was inescapable. It encompassed the fiber of our being. Oh yes, I remember it all too well. _

"Are you ready Yuki?" He smiled at me over the com, I could tell he was nervous about his first mission. I remembered a time when I used to have that same nauseous look on my face before battle. But after hearing the screams it slowly erodes away your humanity. Little by little, you stop feeling the regret. They say killing should never become common place but it does. When you had to do it for as long as I had to, it was nothing new. It was like a business man enduring another day at the office.

"Yeah...I guess...I just have a bad feeling." There was so much uncertainty in those eyes of his. He wanted me to reassure him. I couldn't say why, there was nothing but confidence in my eyes. I wondered why he was so scared but I just shrugged it off, he was a newbie after all. He'd never had to face down gun fire even if it was ineffective and often miss placed. Though I guess I could understand his worries even more then just on the surface. Thinking about there were a lot of officers stationed at JOSH-A. They had the new Legged Ship there according to intelligence from the Crueset Team.

I smiled at him, and let out something of a sigh before I began to laugh for some reason. I guess it was the beginnings of insanity. I didn't have a real reason I just laughed, from what I could see through squinted eyes Yuki was gazing at me strangely from inside his mobile suit. " Sorry Yuki, but you need to lighten up. This mission will be fine. Nothing's going to happen to you. Remember you're going to be fighting with ZAFT's best." At those words I saw him nod enthusiastically, apparently I'd lifted his spirits because he no longer had that rookie smile on his face. Now he was like stone, a true soldier if I ever saw one.

The announcement came then, a general broadcast to all forces. Patrick Zala had kept the target for Spit Break a secret, though if you had half a brain it was an easy guess. There was no real strategic value to Panama other then another mass driver, but a mass driver didn't give the opportunity to end the war like an assault on JOSH-A. It was the best target and with forces building in Panama it was clear the objective was JOSH-A. Why had people gasped in surprise? Well, who the hell could figure any of them out? After Zala's announcement the red lights went on. All pilots were to ready themselves and their mobile suits for drop from the MS carrier. The units waited their mono-eye's glowing impatiently with eagerness.

"Good luck commander Bernett." I smiled at the kid, he wasn't that bad: a nice kinda guy. It would be a shame if he didn't make it. Despite the fact he was maybe a little too nice he wasn't that bad. He could be made into a find subordinate. Of course there wasn't time for the musings I was going over in my head. I had only three minutes to drop. I didn't bother to wish Yuki luck I just cut off his com signal: I needed to prepare. I was never a believer in that crap anyway. Luck was something to be made and dammit if I wasn't good at that.

Sitting in my DINN I couldn't keep from smiling. The black, and red unit was waiting for another taste of vengeance. It was a winged Cyclops ready to decimate all who stood before it. When the transport hit the atmosphere we were released from out moorings. The heart shield shuddered violently beneath my suit as we whipped into the atmosphere. The burning heat shield beneath now beginning to break up, rocking the suit with violently shakes. It was like sitting through an earthquake in a lawn chair. Finally we dove into the clear blue yonder, the heat shield bursting from beneath my unit.

Everything shook as my DINN transformed into flight move. The metallic wings spreading from it's back, the assault rifle on the right hip ejecting from it's holster into the right hand. I was ready to fight and when I saw the first gun emplacements I fired. Like a blazing angel of death I showered my foes with burning death. Tracer rounds ripping into gun emplacements and trucks ripping up pieces of Earth and scattering them into the air. I felt like a winged Cyclops ruling over all I could see with an iron fist. I suppose it was so much easier to enjoy the idea of taking a persons life when it was given poetic licensee. Making my enemy less human made it easier, I could squeeze the trigger without regret or concern. Death can't eat away at the soul when it's poetic. At least that's what I tried to tell myself. I really wasn't sure if it was true or not.

It was an amazing feeling, the idea that I was flying, the monitors making my work deceptive, as if I were flying without aid. It was a beautiful feeling but all things that are beautiful die with time. It's a harsh lesson war teaches but one I had so far learned well, beauty doesn't last, death is absolute. Soon though I'd shed these military coils, and become a civilian again. Free to oogle Ms. Clyne like the rest of my civilian comrades. Free to listen to music and stay up all hours of the night without worrying about the stray shot that could kill me.

Slowly I slipped open my visor my oxygen feed dying as my suit's own vitals switched off. The mobile suit pressurizing my cockpit, and feeding me air now. Just another drain on the battery though. We were advised to never remove our helmets during battle. It was easier to just work off power from the pilot suit, saving our units battery for more important things. No one though really expected this fight to last as long as it did. Even after an hour the base was standing. It was just too much, the Earth Alliance had prepared their defenses well.

I did my job though, pressing the red trigger on my suits right arm control's. I never took it off until I felt the shock, and buck of the assault rifle. Only when the last round was expelled did my finger leave the trigger, my movements swift as I pulled another clip and locked it into place. Once again my finger descended onto the trigger and caused the suit to jump back a step. Pressing my foot harshly down on the units thruster pedals I took off over the water. I wanted to pick on some of the ships foolish enough to try and stop us.

I fired again, three of my tracer rounds ripping into the sides of an EA battleship. The explosion made a great splash, the rumble sounding like thunder in a distant sky and the wave crashing against the cost of Alaska with a thunderous slam. From my position in the air I could see the EA officers running from the wave. I just laughed again and moved to the next target finding what looked like a shallow sub in the water. Apparently a GOOhN team had already gotten there though. The splashes from beneath the waves confirmation of the impending Sub's doom.

However my keen eyes spotted three explosions only a moment later. There was no way a Sub could have made such explosions and still kept moving. I had to find out what was going on and quickly. I wasn't about to let the Alliance cowards escape. Besides that sub could have had the Alliance's head council members, so I wasted no time. My foot stomping on the thruster pedal once again. Quickly I took off like a bolt of lightning. to where I last spotted the sub beneath the waves. With a towering wall of water the sub surfaced though I didn't know why, that was until I saw the damage to the Starboard side.

The hole was pretty sizable if they tried to dive they'd be going under for good. How it even managed to float with a wound like that was beyond me. But I didn't care I decided to make my run, I wouldn't allow them to escape! Blindly I went charging forth I beginning to fire at wildly at the heaping mass before me. Each round impacting and ripping into the sub's hull. It couldn't dive it would just sink. It had to stay there and take my punishment there would be no recourse for them now. It was done for as I moved in for the kill it all seemed just too easy. "Add another ship to my total...WHAT THE HELL!?"

Suddenly, I felt my unit shake sparks flying from the units right arm which was sheared off the explosion knocking me away sparks flying from my controls briefly as I surveyed the damage. I must have been careless, the subs flack guns must have struck me. Then however I actually surveyed the damage pieces of my rifle and arm falling into the Ocean below. The splash and waves which moved in all directions a reminder that I was somehow damaged. It was like the Ocean itself was taunting my carelessness. Turning my suit instantly I narrowly and accidentally avoided a slash from something. I had never seen such a weapon like that before. It was like a GINN's sword but it wasn't solid, or edged I had absolutely no idea what this weapon was however I knew for sure I had to avoid the hell out of it. That's when I noticed the unit that was swinging the weapon. It was white and blue, two antennas in the shape of a "V" dawned it's forehead. It had to be the White Mobile suit the Crueset team had such trouble with. It was staring me down it's blue visor peering at me the sparks still flying from my units wounded arm. Pulling the anti-air shotgun from it's "holster" built into the side skirt plating I began to fire at it. Each spray of buck shot dodged in a clumsy and pathetic fashion.

I couldn't help but wonder how a team like Crueset's a collection of "aces" could be defeated but such a terrible pilot. He may have clipped my arm off in a careless swipe but I would not be defeated. He was given the honor of my full attention now and I wouldn't let him escape. Charging at him, I fired again of course he dodged and quickly moved above me and to my left. He was running like a coward with Each shot I fired making note of just how many rounds were left int he shotgun. With only one arm reloading would be nearly impossible. I had to take him down with what I had available to me. I fired again and he evaded once more, my enemy finally showing so initiative and firing a machine gun held in his suits right hand at me. The rounds moving by my left as I pulled hard to evade them though I was still charging at him. I fired again, this time I clipped his suit, the sparks as the rounds ripped into the armor, and the additional sparks as the units right leg began to shoot flames from it's knee joint. There was no place for him to land now, He would die in the air, he would die by my fire.

I charged forth again, I was eager to finish the job, tired of all this pathetic running on his part. He wasn't prepared I could tell by the fact he was sluggish to dodge again. His will to survive had clearly kicked in as he refused to go quietly into the darkness. Fighting was all well and good but no one who handled a mobile suit that badly deserved to live. Again I charged I holding my fire just long enough for him to make the first move. That's when I pulled the trigger and I saw that sword brandishing arm go flying off the mobile suit. The blade disappearing as it fell from the sky and plopped into the ocean. I was laughing now, this fool who tried to stop me was at my mercy. Everything was proceeding as it should I would use the last round in the shotgun to end his miserable life, it was too easy. The sub below me was a sitting duck, when I dispatched of this moron it would be next. I'd be a true hero for this, taking out the unit which caused Crueset's team such horrors and at the same time capture an Alliance sub filled with the highest ranking military officers.

I was about to charge at him again, the pilot of the white mobile suit was doing his best to avoid me now but he had no chance. Nothing would stop me from blowing a hole in his cockpit. All the dodging he was doing now was just trying to save his pathetic life. I finally got him, he was slow to react again, his skills just weren't enough the barrel of my weapon just a few feet from his cockpit. My finger rapidly moving to push the trigger when something unexpected happened. My unit was rocked by another explosion. It wasn't the suit in front of me either a pink flash had rocketed by my suit, and now it was shaking. The warning alarms sounding throughout my cockpit I'd just lost both my suits arms. Turning the unit rapidly I spied a new mobile suit on the field. My targeting computer letting me know the trajectory of the shots. It was another white mobile suit only this one had wings. I'd never known there were two of these things before. "WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT MONSTER!?"

Suddenly my com filled with cries for help, and then they were muted. The pilot of that white and black mobile suit, he was telling us to pull back. I listened to his message intently but I didn't believe a thing he said. There were no way the Naturals head any kind of weapon that could stop is. It sounded like bullshit to me, I didn't believe a word from this bastard. He shot at my comrades he stole my kill. He must have been working for the Earth Alliance, it had to be a cheap trick to get us to retreat. I moved to charge at the new mobile suit but suddenly my cockpit's warning alarm was flashing again. The world was spinning, and I felt gravity pulling me into my cockpit's seat. The blood violently being ripped to the bottom of my body the suit I was wearing just barely keeping me conscious for my decent. Out of reflex my hand reached for the distress beacon. My unit broadcasting a signal for rescue to any who were listening. A ZnO unit had picked up my signal but I still had no idea what was going on. I just know I was falling, and then I was sinking into the dark ocean. It was the first time in my life I experienced true fear, it made me sick.

I didn't know such a feeling existed that could be so intense as to freeze every muscle in my body all at once. But it did, The next thing I know the ZnO had latched onto my suit. "HOLY SHIT YOU'RE THE BLOODY RAVEN!? I guess not even the likes of you can take on that new Alliance monster!" That pissed me off, I could understand giving credit where it was due but that bastard didn't get me. I was looking right at him, he never even noticed that I was coming for him. He'd be dead right now if someone hadn't taken me down.

"I wasn't shot down by that bastard it was that other mobile suit! The white and blue one!" The pilot of the ZnO looked confused, apparently he didn't see the white and blue mobile suit. How he could have missed it though was beyond me. It was right there flying in the sky only a second ago. Before he could respond that I was crazy I switched frequencies, allowing him to tow me away in silence. That's when I heard the conversation that really pissed me off.

"Congratulations Lt. Lead. Your first mobile suit kill was a true ZAFT Ace!" It was a women's voice, she was too excited, especially since I wasn't dead. I now though had a new target, who ever the hell this man was. He had defeated me, and I would do whatever it took to make him pay for that. I continued to listen hoping to hear more about this mystery man who managed to shoot me down. After all the bastard had managed to cheap shot his way to a victory. I at least deserved some knowledge of the pathetic coward who defeated me this day.

"No, save it, let's just get the hell out of here before the Cyclops detonates." That's when my eyes widened and I felt the shock wave. Fortunately we were far enough away from the mainland to be spared the full brunt of the explosion. Everything shook, within seconds I could feel a violent force pushing against my mobile suit. The pressure of the explosion causing the cockpit screens to crack. Finally as the shaking intensified they broke. Those shards moving swiftly towards my face. I closed my eyes and prayed but it was all in vein.

When I awoke it was in the infirmary a young girl was tending to my wounds. A hand moving to my face pressing into my new scars. The blood increasing as the white gauss began to turn a dark red. From the corner of my eyes I saw the nurse rushing over her hand grasping at my wrist, pulling my fingers from the white strips which covered my new scars. " Sir, you can't pick at your wounds. If you do that they'll continue to bleed." I just smiled at her and forcefully pulled away from her grasp. Fingers again digging into the bandages sending jolts of pain to my brain, but I continued to do it. The bandages continuing to darken in their color. The Nurse gasping in horror as I continued to play with the wounds on my face.

_I remember stopping briefly and smiling sickly at the girl who appeared so frightened by my behavior "Is this my blood?" That was all I managed to get out before I went back to probing at my wounds methodically. I wanted those scars to stay fresh, they could never heal and fade away. So long as the blood of my enemy still ran so too would the blood of these scars. I'd pay him for turning me into an ugly monster, his debt to me, would be repaid through his suffering. I would make him suffer, I would have some small semblance of my revenge. When I met her there, at Panama she was pure, untouched by the world. A naive girl forced to fight in a war for a cause she didn't believe in. She was pure oh yes, but I would change that. She would no longer be untainted after I met her. Purity was a virtue of the innocent, but no one was an innocent in my eyes any longer._


	3. Chapter 3

**Mobile Suit Gundam SEED: A Bloody Dawn**

**Chapter 3.**

"ADEL! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" I wasn't about to let him die, I wouldn't let this monster hurt the last person to ever treat me like I was a human being. It's been so long since anyone has cared for me I forgot what it felt like. I wouldn't let the man who ruined me take away the person who saved me. My fingers tigthened on the controls of my mobile suit. The Raider Full Spec was so fast, the accleration would have rendered me unconcious if it wasn't for the drugs coursing through my veins. They willed me to fight and kill, to be a ruthless monster to those I faced, but now not even they could stop the tears.

_It was a sharp pain, my body was on fire, I could feel the flesh peeling and melting from my bones, as that beam saber doug into my body. The pain was agonizing, and I screamed. Not even the drugs could sheild me from the tremendous pain. It's all I could think about and feel, but it started to fade. They say when you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. That's true now I suppose, The pain was gone, I felt at peace watching the last fleeting bits of innocence being stripped from me.I always wondered what death would be like, but I was discovering eternal peace must have been a joke when my life began flashing before my eyes. I didn't want to remeber it, none of it! Even the good times seem too painful looking back on them._

_Joining the military as the daughter of a high ranking official. I was spoiled and I knew it, none of the other men or women on the base treated me as normal. I sometimes wondered if someone placed a handle with care sign on my back. I didn't know what real war was like, I had only been in a combat flight simulator twice. I wasn't ready for anything the war was going to throw at me. I wanted to be a pilot, so I joined the Earth Alliance Air services. I spent the first year of the war fling F-7D Spearheads on ground support missions, and against mobile suits. _

_I couldn't stop them, our planes were brushed away like flies. I remember watching a shell from a GiNN's assualt rifle ripp away the life of a man, whom I had more then friendly interest in. I was there right next to him when he screamed in agony. I could remember spending two nights in my bunk just crying. Everyone thought I was suffering from combat fatigue. They called me a fragile child, a little baby who couldn't take the heat. I hated them for that, I did my best to prove myself to be a tough strong women, but I just kept failing mission after mission. That's when I heard about the first mobile suits, the Strike Dagger units had reached Panama to protect the mass driver. _

_I hated not being able to stop my enemy so I transfered when the first Strike Dagger units arrived. It was May tenth so shortly after the tragedy of JOSH-A, I know because I watched the news more then anyone. My father was stationed at JOSH-A and someone I knew, someone special to me, he was there too. When my approval came in I was extatic though, I would be transfered to the pilot school in California. My orders were to ship out May Twenty Seventh and from there there I would learn to be the best mobile suit pilot ever! But, that's not the hand fate dealt me, then again when does fate every give you just what you want? If only my tranfer would have come sooner, maybe then none of this ever would have happened, maybe then I'd still have been able to look at myself without feeling dirty. If only I'd never met that bastard that day. _

_Maybe twenty-fifth. It was like any other day, or that's what I'd thought. Oh god was I wrong..._"Shehara! PAY ATTENTION! THOSE COORDINATOR BASTARDS ARE COMING HERE! WE'VE GOT TO BE READY!" That's what my CO told me, he was a kindly oldman, but today was a bad day to space out. ZAFT was reeling after their defeat at JOSH-A so they were going to attempt to take Porta Panama's Mass Driver. That was supposed to stop our troops from reaching space, though there was no way that'd happen on my watch.

"SORRY SIR! I APOLOGIZE!" I stood up from my desk, and soluted him proudly, the military thing had grown on me in all these years. At least now I'd get a jump on some of the other students I'd be attending the academy with. It was weird hearing about the basics of mobile suit piloting, as if that would be enough against ZAFT regulars. Though we all hoped it would be, after all it had to be if we were to defend Porta Panama. We were going through the same basic operating procedures for three weeks since the new Daggers arrived. They told us those who flew the fighters would have the easiest time adjusting, though that to me was crap.

"It's fine pilot, just don't let it happen again. This is your last lesson, today you'll have to put this education to use. Our intelligence newtwork collected photos of a ZAFT fleet preparing to advance on Panama. After their routing at JOSH-A, they've got no choice to disrupt our momentum by taking over our mass driver. I can't stress enough how vital it is we succeed." I still couldn't believe my ears. It was almost impossible to beleive they were sending us into combat. Of course when it finally began sinking in that feeling crawled it's way into my stomach and made me want to vomit.

For a moment the world seemed to spin around my head, before I managed to get control of myself. Listening to the lecture I began to nod off again, my fantasy of that cute pilot I saw earliar that day poping into my head again. Sure he was kinda old, but older men had their charms... I giggled a bit at the thought of Mr. Jean Carrey, and the idea of being Mrs. Shehara Heinrich Carrey.It was so amazing how sophisticated those glasses made him look. Oh, and those perfect teeth, and that short blond hair. Oh it was all so cute, and yet those broad shoulders made him so sexy. However I regrettably had to put a halt to those thoughts when I heard the load roar of the commander once again. "SHEHARA HOW THE THE HELL DO YOU INTEND TO BE A PILOT IF YOU CAN'T PAY ATTENTION FOR MORE THEN THREE MINUTES!?"

It was a good question and I didn't exactly have an answer for him. My dumb stare certianly seemed enough though as he indignantly turned and went back to the briefing. I pouted a bit at the thought of angering my future husband but there wasn't much I could do about it. I mean it was his fault I couldn't pay attention, he was too damned good looking, Jean Carrey. I blushed at just the thought of his name as the lesson continued to roll by. It was almost over when the siren rang. Even with our advanced warning we still were so under prepared. We scrambled for the mobile suit hangar, I personally knocked over my desk and five others on my way scrambling out of the classroom heading for the hangars. I didn't want to pilot the mobile suits but what choice was there? It might not have been a fighter but at least I had more of a chance in that then I did in a plane. There was no time to change into a normal suit, so I didn't bother heading to the locker room like so many others did. My uniform was good enough even with my short skirt that was probably just a little out of place.

When I'd arrived at the hangar shots with the advanced troops were already being fired. ZAFT mobile suits were raining from the sky and pouring over the land. I'd arrived just in time to see Mr. Carrey take off in his Silver Long Dagger. Even his mobile suit looked amazing. They'd called him the Glittering Star, and it was clear why just now. I was about to rush into the hangar after my momentary daze when that stray shell landed infront of me. The force tossing my body into the air like a rag doll. I felt so helpless for the moments I was awake. When my head slammed into the ground I was out cold. Floating in blackness as if I'd just closed my eyes. When they opened again ZAFT was routing us, I had no idea why our mobile suits weren't moving but no one was fighting back. And those bastards they were killing my friends while they couldn't defend themselves. A single Dagger with a hole in it's cockpit rested only a yard or two away. Blood seeping from the gaping wound as if the mobile suit itself was bleeding. I wanted to cry and my knees began to give way. Before I knew what was going on I found myself on my knees tearings flowing freely down my face.

The ZAFT mobile suits were in the main part of the base now. I was all alone the survivors were being brutally murdered right before my eyes. I felt numb, my body frozen with fear, unable to look away I just watched as they made their way through the ranks to me. I was like a scared little rabit. A source of amusement for the men standing over me at that moment. I heard someone's voice." Oden! Lt. Bernett! What are we going to do with her? We can't just kill her!"

"Don't be silly Yuki I have other uses for her," that was all I heard before my body gave out on me once more. The feelings of numbness were perhaps the best things I felt during those moments of uncounciousness. When I woke up I cringed at the sight of that blue haired man. Hunched forward over me. His thrusts were rough and wild. My body had long since given into his efforts in my previously unconcious state. It suddenly felt sick, I wanted to vomit the feelings of anguish and pain. I couldn't honestly describe them. He was Coordinator filth and he was defiling me. I'd never hated Coordinators to that point in the war. Not really, sure I was supposed to but, I found it so hard but it was easy at that moment. Easy to hate them, and easier to hate myself for having allowed this to take place. I tried to resist, but he was too strong. He pinned me beneath him with ease. Whispering about how my sturggles only made things easier. I stood like a statue as he finished, I couldn't do anything. I just curled into a ball and cried, I cried the rest of that night. I was ruined, defiled, ugly. What man could possibly want me now?

_"I'm dirty." _

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_Welp, hope you guys that might be reading this enjoy chapter 3 now that it's finally up. Please leave some reviews feed-back is always welcome._


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